There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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