What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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12/23/2012

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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