Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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