A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

These jokes don't have punchlines.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

Guess what? I like trains.

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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