What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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