What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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