The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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