My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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