Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Turkey Balls

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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can you touch your toes? no

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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My jeans

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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