Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops