i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops