A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down -7

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops