Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops