Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

Half life 3 confirmed

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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