a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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24

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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