Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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