Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

thumb_up thumb_down +8

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops