A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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My cat just died.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops