What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops