Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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