How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Do you play piano? No

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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