What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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