How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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