What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops