Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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your so fat. your fat!

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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