Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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