Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops