Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Communism hehe xd

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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