What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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