Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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a black man pays his child support

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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