Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

Camerons hair is Curly..

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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