What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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