Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's 1+1? 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops