A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops