Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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