What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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