- Anti Joke

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

-4

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

-4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

-4

What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

-4

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

-4

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

-4

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

-6

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

-6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

autistic kids rock

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

Dwarf Shortage

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

Vagina Boob

Stop driving smart cars you fags

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??