My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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My cat just died.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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