What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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star wars kid

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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