roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Gus's mom

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops