Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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