Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Communism hehe xd

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops