Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Turkey Balls

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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