How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Bitch

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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like if your cool

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops