Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops