What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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