A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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