Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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