What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

knock knock Dave's not here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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