Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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