What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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your face

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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