Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Take part of what?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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