what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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