Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Communism hehe xd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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