a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops