Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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