what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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