What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

thumb_up thumb_down -26

No, what you are saying, is that you have lost hope, one of the fundamental rules in creating such a society, is becoming the kind of person, in our case a man that has a notion of free will, the willpower to follow his own vision, the kind of man with a ideology so strong that it defies the rules imposed upon us by society. Then, you do neither go around breaking said rules, nor as you do, seek out people. No, if your ideology is better, stronger and greater than what society has imposed upon us since birth, then those we consider the strong, will seek people like us. You know the basics, humans as a whole are "monkey see monkey do", but for me at least, people of true value, do not follow others, but their own belief, values concepts of life and whatnot, this is the reason I from time to time come here and "Humiliate myself", people hate my guts, I know it, acknowledge it, until it fazes me no more, then every so often a few people like it. And there you got the core of what you are conveying, individuality based on self respect and respect for others, those people that sought people like me, had this value down at heart. Again that is not something you can teach others, how to think for themselves, no. You know how it is, we live in a society where people that love themselves and respect their own work are looked down upon by others, until many decide it is not worth the effort. And if that is what society has created, then you going around promising others a better lifestyle trough following their "heart", is just going to either have them abuse you, or worse, worship you. If you succeed at having people see you as a goddamn God, then it only takes a fucking generation, your fucking lifetime, before someone takes over, starts passing on drugs or alcohol, and claiming you where a God, and then you wasted your whole life into conveying something greater, but ended up creating what people like us hate, a religion indoctrination that destroys the human part that is able to think for itself and respect its own decisions. The problem with free will, is that you can also freely surrender it, and when the so called "greatest nation on the world" are war "in the name of God" against Satan, while the other is fighting for Allah, against, SHATAM... Then it should not take much more than a monkey to figure out humanity is simply fighting one another, in this case probably over a fucking translation error. And if this is what the world most powerful nation can offer, while their elitism assures that politicians live as kings, while the people suffer, all while "Gods nation" cannot even win a war over what is considered "camels and stones" Then you should know that there is still much hope, that people such as us can start even the smallest spark, of a better society, and that people will seek us out. But our kind cannot be made, only unmade, it is easy to surrender one`s personal values and become someone else. And when you claim to be me, and spread your weird values on a fucking anti-joke side on the worlds most broken site, then what is really left of you? And if you cannot stand against the tide, then what different is what you convey, that to what the mainstream media, politicians and religion spread? Moral: Get ready for a load of thumbs downs, people most have surrendered their values and free will, its hard to stand against the tide, but as long as people such as I and hopefully you stand strong, even if in seclusion, then we only need to ignite the spark in our equals in order to succeed, and we might be few, but together and as individuals strong, we can never truly be defeated.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Students, please find the surface integral.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops