A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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