why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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I'm Polish.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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