What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops