A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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