What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops