Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops