What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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