Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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My children are mistakes

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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