- Anti Joke

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers