What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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9/11 my birthday

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Frontbut-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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