What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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A young baby died.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops