An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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star wars kid

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A blonde dies Lololol

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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