What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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