Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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