Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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