Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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