What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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