I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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I love pissing people off :P

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops