Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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women's rights.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops