Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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