Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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