bangers and mash?

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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