A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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