What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Sarah Palin.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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