How many light bulbs? 1

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What's upside down? umop apisdn

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

what's funny about war? nothing!

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...