A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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