How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Guess what? I like trains.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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rarw

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops