What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops