A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops