Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops