Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Ol-ive

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops