Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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My mom

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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