A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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