A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

roses are black violets are black i am blind

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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