A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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How you know when dislextic

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops