Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Get up Look in the mirror

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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