Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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rarw

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Poop

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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