What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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69

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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