When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops