"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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