Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

autistic kids rock

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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