What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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