Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

Frontbut-

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

hi charles lattuca III

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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