What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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