a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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