Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops