What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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can you touch your toes? no

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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