Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops