why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops