It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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sadf

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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