why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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My Nan, that is all.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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