What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops