What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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