What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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