Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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