What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops