the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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