Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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