Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops