Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have a really funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops