What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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