How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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What is Jason? Black.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Hitler

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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My sister has to take a dump

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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