So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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An antijoke

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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69

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops