Myspace

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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knock knock you may come in

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Brett Farve

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops