Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

penis

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

i like potatoes

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

The mets are 3-0 this season

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

I met a man today. His name was John.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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