if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

josh simpson has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops