Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Aodhan Hearty

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops