An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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No.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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does this look unsure to you?

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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