A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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cheese

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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