Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Exactly what?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black succeeds

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops