Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Military intelligence.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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No.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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