Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Rob Bell

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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no

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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a banana

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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