Johnny just finished his pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

no

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops