How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Jews for Jesus

This joke isnt funny.

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

penis

Knock Knock. F uck off.

What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

i like potatoes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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