here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

penis

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

i like potatoes

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

The mets are 3-0 this season

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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