i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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