What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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why did the man die? he got shot

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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