OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Justin's hair

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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PICKLES

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George W. Bush

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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