Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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