roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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VITAMIN C!

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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