What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops