Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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