What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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