what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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jews

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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