Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops