HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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And now a word from our sponsors

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops