What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

Knock knock, COME IN!

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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