A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops