Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops