Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

poop.........

A Jew returns change.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

Why Did the throw up He was sick

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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