This is not a joke.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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ASSCHEEKS

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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son, you're adopted.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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I hate you.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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