A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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johann grayson being liked

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Hello

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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cheese

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops