How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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This joke isnt funny.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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gays

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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