Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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I dislike old people.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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