why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops