despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

HELLO EVERYONE

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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