You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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