Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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school homewrok

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops