Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops