What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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knock knock come in !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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