How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops