A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops