Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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