How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops