Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops