What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Knock knock Come in

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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BIG MAC'S

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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