A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops