i'm hard

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

knock knock who's there? your destiny

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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