why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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knock knock come in !

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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