Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops