I like that, but why am I happy?

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Get on the boat.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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