You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops