A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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VITAMIN C!

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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