How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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