My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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