Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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