How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

knock knock Goodbye

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

you will like this because i am black.

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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