How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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