A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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pull my finger (farts)

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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