Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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