Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

An orphan falls off a cliff.

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...