What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

That's unfortunate.

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

Hey, come here often? No.

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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