why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Johnny just finished his pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

no

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops