Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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