So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Is Carly smart? No.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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