Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

look at there!! an entire dog!!

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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