Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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im jewish

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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