Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Rob Bell

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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no

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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