Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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