What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Antijokes...

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops