A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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