How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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