Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops