Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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