A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops