So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops