When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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hi

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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