How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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