What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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