roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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