John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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