Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

White men's rights

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

These jokes don't have punchlines.

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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