HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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yolo your orange looks orange

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Lololol

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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