Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops