Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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