I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

Why did the dog die? He was old

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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