What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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