Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

thumb_up thumb_down -19

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -19

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops