A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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