Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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