A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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