What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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