Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Your big dick.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops