Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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