What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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A lot eh?

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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