Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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HEY!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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