In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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