Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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