dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops