Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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