Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Indians

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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