How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

Wanna hear a joke? no

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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