Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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i'm hard

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops