A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops