Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm rick james bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anyone can post anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops