- Anti Joke

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

womens rights.

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops