A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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