A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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I'm Coming

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops