What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Potassium? K.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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