Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops