Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Where's the soap?

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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