what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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