what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Peas

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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