what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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