Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Vagina Boob

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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