How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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