Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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=3

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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