Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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