Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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