What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

thumb_up thumb_down -13

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops