Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops