I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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