whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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