What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops