Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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