A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yolo your orange looks orange

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops