why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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learn. advance!

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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