How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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