What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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