Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

A sober Irish individual.

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

How you know when dislextic

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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