Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

9

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops