How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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