If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops