What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops