What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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