1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops