So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops