The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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