Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

thumb_up thumb_down +26

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops