Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops