Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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