How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops