Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

scraggle is in you pillow case

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

how much fish could a chicken

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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