How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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