A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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that wall over there ->

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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