I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

hi charles lattuca III

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops