What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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1+2 = 6

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Women.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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