Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops