A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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