A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Feminism.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops