What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops