There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What page are you on The gay page.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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