What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What is Jason? Black.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

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why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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