Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

james schmitt whats your last name

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -29

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops