What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

What do apples taste like? Apples.

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

What is a dog? Bark

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

So one time this woman was learning...

Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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