A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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johann grayson being liked

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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women's rights

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cheese

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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penis

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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