I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

a horse walks into a barn

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

What is Jason? Black.

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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