Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Rick Perry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

does this look unsure to you?

What's 6 + 9? 15.

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

Women's rights.

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

The chicken crossed the road.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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