here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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your momma's an antijoke

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your fat

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hi my name is? joe

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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