Pandas Everywhere!!!

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops