How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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