Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops