Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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