Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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