How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops