Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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guess what what ...

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops