Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops