What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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