I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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