What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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