A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Weaner

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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