How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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