Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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pobody's nerfect

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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