Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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