What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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I love pissing people off :P

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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