- Anti Joke

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

A baby seal walks into a club.

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops