An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

what is 3+3= 8

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

antijoke is the best website.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...