Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

Andoni was here

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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