When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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