You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Antijokes...

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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