Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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