A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops