What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

b

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...