A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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