how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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