Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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