Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

A women left the kitchen.

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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