Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

bangers and mash?

Your big dick.

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

the WNBA.

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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