Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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