What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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