Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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