Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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haha

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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