Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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