A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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The Labour Party.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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