What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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