Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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