"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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