A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Fat people

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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Sarah Palin.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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