Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

Hello

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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