What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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My jeans

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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