what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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