What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

my penis

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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