Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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What page are you on The gay page.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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