Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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