A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

Who does creatine? James Cornish

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

And you honored it I see :P

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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