Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

thumb_up thumb_down +7

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops