What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's funny about war? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops