How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...