How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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