What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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