Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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