What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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