Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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