Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops