Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did John name his dog? Doggy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops