Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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