Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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No

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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