Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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