What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops