Where's the soap?

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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