What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops