What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

There was once a man who lived in a box.

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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