What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

Men's rights

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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