What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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