Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops