YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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