A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops