http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Death by kayak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops