What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

If you just read this, You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -45

cool

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -49

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops