One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A lot eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock It's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Justin Beiber is a good singer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops