How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Bitch

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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like if your cool

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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