Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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