I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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