se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops