Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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pudding

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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