Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

they're dead. idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops