Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

Apple hates Blackberry.

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

Tunechi

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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