Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops