A muslim walks into a gun shop

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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