A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -14

WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Asian with a big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops