a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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i like it in the mouth

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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