How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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