Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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