Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

9/11 my birthday

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

I'm Coming

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

whats worse than failing your maths test?

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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