I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops