Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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miha kako si?

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops