What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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