How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A young baby died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops