Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Soccer...

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops