Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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