How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops