hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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