A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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the bible

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops