whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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american idol

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What's just not right? Left

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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